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Muddled Water

August 21, 2019
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Posted by author

I have been reading a few posts from some of my favorite bloggers, women who I also consider friends, about making some much needed changes with their blogs.

The idea of shutting them down creeps in from time to time, or re-working how they look at their blog, how it fits into their always changing lives, and the whole money making concept behind it.

 

Maybe there is something in the water, or maybe it’s because we started at the same time, so are feeling the need for change at the same time.

Whatever it may be, I know I am struggling with similar feelings.

 

I have mentioned it before, how transitioning this blog from the UK to the US has been difficult.

So much goes on behind the scenes of a blog, and while our personal lives do sometimes show through our poor attempts at filtered posts, you never really know what it going on in a persons life.

There was a month there where I was depressed.

Like really struggling.

I would cry for no reason, and just wasn’t really present in the day to day.

It came as such a shock to me because I was finally home.

I was with my family and friends and I felt safe again.

Maybe it was a result of so many emotions colliding, emotions that had been suppressed to help get me through the last year in Scotland.

Those feelings, along with the transition of being back in the US, and feeling a little lost, left me in a pretty dark place.

 

Normally I would never mention this, but I think a lot of people go through periods of depression.

Whether it is short lived and circumstantial, or a life long struggle and the result of a chemical imbalance.

 

Sometimes we look at bloggers and think their lives are perfect.

Or we judge them when their blog starts to change for reasons we can’t identify.

 

But it is important to know that life is happening when people are not online.

Real life.

 

All of that to say I know this blog is changing, and it is going to continue to change through the new year.

I am hoping it is going to change for the better.

I am stripping it back and blogging only when I feel inspired to blog.

Taking down sidebar sponsorship, limiting advertising posts.

Something I have always prided myself on is how I run advertising.

I work only with companies I love, and I have tried really hard to never fill this blog with sponsored posts, even when the money would have really helped.

The integrity of this blog has always been important to me, and will continue to come first. But even with the little advertising I have offered over the past couple of years, I am ready to say no even more. It’s time to take my blog back, and blog for me again. Whether that is twice a week, or once a month.

I want to blog when I have something important to say, or funny to share (like conversations with Stephen, which are my favorite). I want to share possible new work endeavors with you, and things I find inspiring, or delicious 😉

Over the next few months I will be taking this space to a new hosting site, changing the name, and focusing on quality instead of quantity.

I am excited.

Thank you all for sticking with me through this process. I know I have been a little all over the place.

And don’t fret, I will still be posting occasionally. I mean, I owe you a vlog still. It just wont be the typical 3-5 posts a week (who made up that blogging rule anyway?)

I love you guys.

I don’t tell you enough.

August 21, 2019
35 Comments

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35 Comments

on Muddled Water.
  1. Chelsea @ Lost in Travels
    August 21, 2019 @ 2:49 am
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    Reply

    i completely agree with slowing down and it’s something that i’ve started to do as well. blogging should be a fun expression and outlet, not something that we feel forced or stressed out to do.

  2. Ariane
    August 21, 2019 @ 6:17 am
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    Reply

    I love this idea. Your blog has always been great, and I know it always will be. Because you’re great. I really, really hope that other bloggers follow your lead and start to limit advertising. I hardly connect with bloggers’ words anymore, because I feel like their exploiting my interest in their lives for $$$. Ya know?

  3. michelle
    August 21, 2019 @ 5:03 pm
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    Reply

    love this post. will follow no matter what, even if you only post once a month and it’s only a picture of charlie. i have been taking a break from blogging because i have too much going on and it feels so nice even though i do miss it. but your personal life is more important than your blog.

  4. Betsy Transatlantically
    August 21, 2019 @ 8:14 pm
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    Reply

    I think you’re really brave to put all this out there, and I hope that writing it made you feel better! SO much love to you.

  5. Ahn
    August 21, 2019 @ 9:01 pm
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    Reply

    conversations with stephen…AND pictures of your goddaughter. jeez. way to leave svea out.

  6. christine donee
    August 22, 2019 @ 3:24 am
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    Reply

    ew. gross. probably won’t read this anymore. 😉 dinner soon?

  7. Amy
    August 22, 2019 @ 1:32 pm
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    Reply

    You are awesome, and I’m excited for the changes to come.

  8. Shannon Leahy
    August 22, 2019 @ 2:41 pm
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    Reply

    And we love you even more! I adore you and your honest – something that is sometimes so difficult to hold true to when there are expectations being placed on you from all sorts of places.

  9. Annie
    August 24, 2019 @ 1:57 am
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    Reply

    In an culture where we so often lose ourselves to what seems bigger and better, I’m glad for you that you’re stripping your blog down to what you consider the bare essentials. I think there’s always a time (or two or even more) in our blogging journeys – or even just in life – that we have to step back and reevaluate where we’re at and what we’re doing there. I appreciate your honesty with the fact that you’re in that season! I hope it gives you vision and vibrancy, and that when you return to blogging more regularly, you do so refreshed.

  10. Anna @ IHOD
    August 24, 2019 @ 4:19 am
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    Reply

    I have actually been thinking about you lately and wish I had had your number so I could have called. I was actually thinking it must be tough to transition back to the US. Even if it is home, it is still a big change and shift, and if you are like me…that doesn’t ever go like pie. I actually cried almost every day when I lived in KS for two years. I was depressed. That is actually when I started my blog! I think it is so wonderful you are taking action to make this space what you love. Applauding you and sending lots of love your way! x

  11. Zoë
    August 24, 2019 @ 3:23 pm
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    Reply

    This is such a wonderful post, I have a love/hate relationship with lifestyle blogs and bloggers because I want to read the ones that are special – well written, visually appealing, filled with adventure – but they can also be frustrating because you’re left imagining that someone else’s life is more interesting than yours. I appreciate your honesty, and as long as you stay yourself and continue to produce meaningful content (to you), your blog will be special. This is a new, exciting chapter, and you should get to live it in real time. This space and your readers will always be here for you!

  12. Catherine Fishback
    August 24, 2019 @ 4:08 pm
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    Reply

    I’ve been meaning to write a post like this for about the past month. I’m going through the exact same thing. Blogging about fashion and trivial things simply isn’t all that fulfilling for me anymore. Thanks for your words of truth and love.

  13. Caroline
    August 24, 2019 @ 5:48 pm
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    Reply

    I just want to give you a big bear hug. And you scared me a bit there – I thought you were going to say bye to us! But no, I think one of the very best things about blogging is that bloggers LOVE blogging. They are inspired, motivated, and cherish the community and the practice of it through and through. But at time, we grow disenchanted with the whole thing and need to take some time and re-evaluation to get that sense back. So I’m excited to see what changes are coming, and I applaud you for being so brave as to share this! See you sooner than later, hopefully!

  14. Nicole Marie
    August 24, 2019 @ 7:48 pm
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    Reply

    it’s like you took the words right out of my mouth. i too have been struggling with blogging while trying to adjust back and figure out my california life. ive never wanted my blog to feel like work but something i really enjoyed. with this transition (even though i don’t technically have work and have free time) blogging has not been my #1 priority and with that i feel like i’m letting my sponsors down. i’ve been thinking about it for the last month and this last weekend i too decided it was time to end the sponsors. gotta do what’s best for me.

    excited for you and what’s ahead. lots of love! xoxox

  15. Bridget
    August 25, 2019 @ 12:09 am
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    Reply

    if we weren’t real life friends i’d be pissed but since i get a daily dose of she either way, i’m cool with it.

  16. nicole
    August 25, 2019 @ 8:16 am
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    Reply

    bravo. same here. no more advertising. limited product reviews. taking back my life. and trying to live it offline more.

  17. Kierra Makayla
    August 25, 2019 @ 10:29 am
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    Reply

    You are great, do the things that make you happy and we will love you for that! I hope all is well and continues to get well. Can’t wait to see the changes made for the better!

  18. smalldog
    August 25, 2019 @ 12:56 pm
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    Reply

    I just crossed from the US to the UK, and even though I’m a regularly continent hopper like you, I still got a bit down in the dumps this past month. I love that you can talk about it openly because you’re right, online content isn’t real life. Really admire your blog and can’t wait to see what you do with it, whatever it is!

  19. Designwali
    August 25, 2019 @ 4:55 pm
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    Reply

    I’m right there with you sister. Who knows where my blog will go either. But I’m pretty sure whatever you do…some of us will be here to support ya.

  20. Georgia Christakis
    August 25, 2019 @ 9:51 pm
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    Reply

    I just want to thank you for opening up a little about your depression. It’s easy to gloss over the sad and harder parts of life on a lifestyle blog, giving readers this facade of perfection that may make their own lives feel somehow smaller in comparison. Your honesty is a kind reminder that it’s ok to be sad, to struggle, to become depressed. I hope things look up for you; they did for me 🙂

    much love xx

  21. Beth
    August 26, 2019 @ 3:05 am
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    Reply

    Its lovely that you can share your feelings, I really enjoy what you write especially conversations with Steven, definitely the funniest blog posts. 🙂

  22. Tiffany Kadani
    August 26, 2019 @ 3:24 am
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    Reply

    Can I just hug you? I feel the exact same way about my blog. I’ve always considered sponsorship (I mean, who would deny increased traffic flow and money?) but it always gave me anxiety thinking about it and that’s when I knew it wasn’t right for me.

    I started blogging different just this month. It’s not noticeable maybe by those who read my blog, but it is by me. I feel more genuine as I blog when I want to and simply what I want to.

    Anyway, sorry. I could talk all day about this.

  23. Kerri Taylor
    August 26, 2019 @ 4:00 am
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    Reply

    Support you all the way, girl! You must do what’s right for you – otherwise what’s the point? 🙂 xo

  24. KatyK
    August 26, 2019 @ 6:05 am
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    Reply

    There must be something in the water. You’re right I’m seeing a lot of bloggers lately posting about struggling with balance and real life vs. blog life. I like to read what you have to say no matter how often it is, and its important to remember that every blogger has a real life behind the scenes. Can’t wait to see what’s coming up!

  25. Camille DiPaola
    August 26, 2019 @ 6:44 am
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    Reply

    Thanks for posting this! I haven’t been blogging as long as some of you veteran bloggers, but there are weeks were I just…don’t want to blog. I don’t feel it, I don’t feel as if I know why I’m there, etc…and then I feel depressed that I don’t feel it, b/c I see other gal’s blogs and they seem to awesomely keep up with it all (not to mention in a beautiful, artsy and fabulous way- ha ;)…while I feel as if I’m treading water some times…trying to stay afloat…and get somewhere with it all. There have been many blessings that have come out of it for me, but sometimes its hard to know what to do with it. I gotcha. I think. 🙂

  26. emily
    August 26, 2019 @ 10:30 am
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    Reply

    I had a mild heart attack when I first began reading this post. Ha 🙂 Glad you are sticking with it though, and taking it back to truly you! You rock girl!

  27. holtkamp
    August 26, 2019 @ 11:54 am
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    Reply

    You do what you gotta do, thanks for being so real! Love you!

  28. gina
    August 26, 2019 @ 12:04 pm
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    Reply

    Love that you are making this change rather than forcing it….you can always tell when a blogger forces it and it just changes the blog. I always love when you post – whether it’s once a week or 3-5 times per week :).

  29. Allyson
    August 26, 2019 @ 10:23 pm
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    Reply

    I love this! I’m an advocate for anything that allows the blogging world to be more genuine. That’s a big reason I read your blog. Sending love your way .x

  30. Miss Chelsea
    August 27, 2019 @ 3:16 am
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    Reply

    I love that you are doing this, and I love that you shared about your dark period… I went through something similar a few months ago too, and it’s always nice to learn that other people are just like you!

  31. Lottie Simm
    August 27, 2019 @ 2:59 pm
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    Reply

    i am glad you are doing what feels right for you.

    sometimes change is so hard and when there are so many emotions and feelings it seems to confuse everything, so i am glad you are in a better place 🙂

  32. ambercheez
    August 27, 2019 @ 5:10 pm
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    Reply

    I really needed to hear this today. Thank you.

  33. Danielle E. Alvarez
    August 27, 2019 @ 5:35 pm
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    Reply

    You do owe us a vlog still!

    In all seriousness though, you’re only required to put into this blog what brings you more real life joy. I’m just happy to be a part of the ride. Big hugs as you transition both on- and offline. xo

  34. Miss Lace
    August 27, 2019 @ 7:00 pm
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    Reply

    Thank you for this post. Thank you for being real and honest. I feel like so many of the blogs are unrealistic and drama nowadays. I’m just a little ole blog, but I sometimes feel restricted or limited on expressing myself. Am I too boring? Is this too honest? I like your blog. It’s refreshing. As long as you are always honest and true to yourself you’ll have a great thing going.

  35. Liz/happymommy
    August 28, 2019 @ 2:50 am
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    Reply

    I have to say that I miss your frequent posts as I just LOVE your blog and you but I understand! The things going on behind the blog are much more important than writing just to fill space. Whatever you do or however you change your blog, I’ll be here reading! I don’t blog but I guess you could say my hobby is reading those few sweet blogs from some great ladies who I find real and honest and when things get quiet I know that real life is happening and that’s the way it should be!! Also, I’m so sorry you went through a bout of depression….it comes in so many different forms and I wouldn’t wish that feeling on my worst enemy (not like I have many, I don’t think) as I had my share of depression after both my girls were born and although it’s different, depression is a tough place to be in 🙁 Sending good thoughts your way that life behind this space is good and happy and you are finding your new normal back in the states with that sweet guy of yours and your little pup! Hugs lady! 🙂

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My name is Megan and I am a former LA fashion Industry girl turned neuroscientist turned blogger turned fashion neuroscientist blogger...
that is my official title.

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