this photo could be slightly deceiving. I am not pregnant. It’s a period baby. So basically the opposite of a baby.
So I obviously am having a thing for burgundy and black for fall, or are we still calling it oxblood? I hope not.
It was actually cool enough the other evening to wear this and not sweat; success.
Life Update: Our transition back to the US has been a slow and steady one.
I am still trying to find my groove with this space, now that it is no longer an expat blog, and in life in general.
I am really trying to decipher between what I feel like I should be doing, and what I think other people feel I should be doing.
Then there is the comparing.
Comparing can be such a nasty thing, especially in a time where we have seamlessly amalgamated everyday life and social media.
It is hard to not constantly compare yourself to others’ filtered lives. I know I am not the only one that feels this way, so for those that have these same struggles, I encourage you to take breaks. Don’t go on instagram for a few days, don’t look on pinterest, facebook, or blogs.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy with masochistic tendencies. It hurts, but we do it anyway. I have been taking more breaks, I’ll upload to instagram, but I might not sit and scroll through the photos every time, so I get my fix without feeling depressed for the next hour. I know this isn’t a new concept, but I think sometimes we need to be reminded that it’s okay to take a step back, and that we all struggle to find a happy medium between being active online, and knowing when being present in “real” life is better for us.
Urban Outfitters sweater | leggings | shoes | sunglasses | watch
I promise I am not the new spokesperson for UO.
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I am totally with you on the burgundy and black for fall. I often have to stop myself from buying everything in the same color 🙂
And who can’t relate to the danger of comparison? You are not alone! I’ve recently been trying to unplug a little from online, and judging by the fact that here I am on your blog, it’s clearly been going well… I feel like it’s an issue I’ve seen popping up around the interwebz with other people, too. Isn’t it funny how we can all struggle with similar issues and still feel like the only one in the world? Or maybe that’s just me.
I liked this entry about the same issue, too. Maybe you’d enjoy it as well. http://erinmcneely.wordpress.com
I hope the transitioning process continues to be a little easier every day, I can’t imagine it’s been easy!
I love coming to your blog. It really is a breath of fresh air!
Ooh, I love the lighting in these pictures and those leggings!
But, most importantly, I love your honesty here. Transitions are hard and I know how often people tend to filter their lives instead of opening up about the tough times they’re going through. So, I appreciate you for being honest about the transitions and their difficulties not only in social media but just in life. And, just so you know, it’s been so great to see all the transitions you have made. I can imagine the hurdles that have come along but it’s wonderful too to see the happiness they’ve brought you. xo
Loving this post. Still in the throws of trying to amp up a new blog is more discouraging than encouraging. A good friend told me after a terrible time to stop looking at facebook, saying it’s a bad prom reel. Although everyone looks great in the pictures, prom was in reality very boring and your date was awkward. I love that analogy.
Keep your head up, and keep rocking the leggings.
Oh. Transitions are such a pain in the rear end aren’t they!? You guys will get where you need to be in time. Just remember Rome wasn’t built in a day. (Rome is the right city yeah? Haha) The comparison thing gets me more often than I would like. The “comparison is the theif of joy” quote is so true! It’s so hard not to read blogs and follow certain IG accounts and not feel like you have less occasionally. I unfollowed a lot of awesome blogs on IG simply because there was no way id ever afford half the stuff they wear and it brought me down lookin at my simple wardrobe. I think taking a step back and taking a break is the best thing you can do. Breaks are always nice to reflect on what’s actually important. Chin up 🙂
And I want your legs.
I like how you called it “filtered lives”. Sometimes I forget that too, that what I see isn’t everything. From now on, I am just going to assume that the tables behind the perfect food are stacked with unopened mail (like my table) and that clutter is shoved into closets so that cute family bed photo looks like something out of a magazine (because I totally do that). I’m just going to assume everyone lives like I live, and then I won’t feel like comparing my crap to their perfection!
Yep. Period baby. I think mine is usually bigger than an actual baby.
I have a goal of not turning on social media the first thing in the morning. I suck at goals.
aw, good luck getting back in the grove of things. transitions are the hardest, for sure. go get a big hug from that husband of yours.
Girl, I NEED those leggings. And UO should totally hook you up with a sponsorship gig.
So true! It must be even harder for you especially because you are going through such a drastic change. One of my goals for the year was to stop comparing myself to others. It is so much harder than it seems! You may or may not have heard of Lara Casey before, but she has a great process for Making Things Happen called The Challenge. http://www.laracasey.com And it starts with eliminating social media on the weekends. I haven’t made that full jump yet, even though I need to! I did delete the facebook app from my phone and now I maybe check it twice a day, maybe. Which is a huge improvement! Just wanted you to know that I’m with you.
Since you’ve already read my blog post, you know how I feel about all of this too. As much as I love the internet and social media, it’s just exhausting to look at everyone’s perfect houses, clothes, and babies. (Although I am NOT a baby person, and I’m sick of looking at everyone’s babies’ pictures).
Whatever it is, we’ll find it eventually. For now, we just have to remember how incredibly lucky we are in other ways.
PS: your ombré hair looks ah-mazing. My hairstylist is trying to get me to go red. Not happening.
i think it’s important to remember that some people are looking at your life, not even just through social media but those who personally know and love you, and they are genuinely happy for you and look up to you and “envy” you (in a good way). inspiration over comparison any day.
also i want your legs. but i think you probably just need to clone them because lots of others do too (see, this is the good type of envy because i’m still thankful for my own shorty ones!) x
I agree. on several things. a) I am LOVING the burgundy and black for fall. burgundy is one of my favorite colors (and the main accent color for my living room and my kitchen). and b) I have SUCH a hard time with comparing and jealousy on facebook/instagram/blogs/etc. I have to keep reminding myself that people only show the absolute best – few people actually post the day-to-day crappy parts of life.
You’ll find where you want to be soon!
Amen to that. I should probably take breaks more often… I had a big pity party for myself the other day actually. It wasn’t cute.
agree, agree, agree. it is so easy to get yourself into a comparison rut. we all do it! love your leggings. I think I need some. are they comfortable? or do you feel like you have to peel them off?
i really hope they come out with a new name for oxblood, just a personal preference really ; )
and i completely agree with you. it’s finding that right balance of being involved in your blog but not letting it take over your life, making you stress about comments pageviews and how other blogs are doing. i think it’s something that every blogger struggles with at one time or another and it can be so hard to find that balance!
I love that saying “comparison is the thief of joy” because it totally is. No one posts and brags about the junk in their life. But the way I look at it is when I see all the happy, fulfilling things I have posted myself, I am seriously appreciative of everything good in my life. Also, for me personally, I have read your blog for years not because it was an expat blog, but because you are so funny and refreshing and honest. I’ve enjoyed your gorgeous photos, of course, but I’ve really enjoyed your point of view the most. So I think no matter where you live you can bring your same voice to your readers.
I felt the exact same way when I moved back from South Korea & my blog was no longer about living abroad. I was all “well, shit. what do I write about now?” I’ve finally found my groove, but it took a few months — you will too!
xx Abby a geek tragedy
You still look amazing. I’m so loving burgundy and leather too.
I totally agree about the whole taking time to live in the present philosophy. But regardless you have such an amazing blog. You put in the effort to create helpful, original, and affordable content. This shines through regardless of what country you are in. Go with your gut!
Oh hey, hombre.
This is the first time I am fully seeing your new ombre hair in its full glory and I love it. I am also a huge fan of burgundy for the fall and have the same sweater! Comparison is a good and bad thing … it pushes you to do better and be involved in greater things that you may not have been had it not been for the “other person” but it also knocks you down for no reason on a regular basis. Sometimes I find that I am down on myself without being able to explain until I realize that the depressive thoughts arose after learning of a certain person’s activities, achievements or just a plain old picture. I agree, we all need frequent reality checks and constant reminders that what we see of others on social media is not the full story. If we are honest with ourselves, our “filtered versions” aren’t usually too shabby either. xo.
LOVE the sweater. Also, a great reminder to “unplug” ocassionaly 🙂
I do the same thing. Always thinking and second guessing myself. And then I post and think who will read this? is anyone going to read this? And then I feel bad. Good advice to just take a break. xo Heidi
oh this is genius and too true! i have to force myself to take breaks from blogs and instagrams, so i don’t constantly feel sad that i don’t travel every weekend, and i order take-out most nights, and i am AWFUL at creative layering and outfit-making, and no amount of side eye is convincing my boyfriend he should propose. it’s great of you to say all this “out loud”! you should know that your blog is one of my favorites because it comes across as very honest about the tough times. so as long as you stay true to that voice, whichever direction you take it, it will be fantastic!
love the leggings! and this outfit is really making me love black and burgundy 🙂
your hair looks awesome.
lets make that period baby a real one. stephen, you hear me?
Yes – I completely agree with everything you said. It’s crazy how we forget how to be present and experience life as it is at the moment. Rock that transition period, girlfriend!
Oh goodness…how true. I deal with this a lot…and it’s my fault, b/c I choose again and again to look through the IG feeds, etc…and get totally depressed about the fact that my life doesn’t look like someone’s filtered one. grr. I feel awesome when I take breaks! Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
The bottom line is: we’re all doing the best we can. You just happen to do it looking fabulous with ombré hair in leather leggings. Really though 🙂 transitions are tough, especially ones that physically move us across oceans… or just one. Sending you a hug. I’m sure you’re more fine than you think!
P.S. Comparison is what keeps me off Instagram in the first place. For some reason, I seem to have a better handle on other social media channels.
if i wasn’t in my office right now, i probably would have whistled at these pictures. you look ah-mazing!
everyone just shows the highlight reel of their life. no one is going to show their bad hair day or talk about their meltdown.
not going to lie, i am very very jealous of your cute new puppy. you have lots to be happy about. like being able to pull off leather leggings better than anyone else.
Your legs….I swear I hate you for them (only in the sweetest hate you for them way)!!!
Although I do not have a blog of my own I often thought about starting one but once I started reading blogs I decided it wasn’t for me. Really only for the fact that everyone’s “filtered lives” look SO perfect and I don’t even think I could pull off a good looking “filtered life” as to say. I LOVE all the blogs I read and the ladies who share their words on them….they are all so, so good but it is so hard not to compare myself to them and what they do or have or wear or whatnot. I think the making friends part through the blogging world seems amazing but I don’t know that I could write for the purpose I want to write, I fear I would always be trying to write for everyone else…..you know what I mean? I take a step back often especially from fb and ig just to get myself in check at times and to realize the life I have is a great one and I am truly blessed to be where I am at….the wicked ways of social media I guess!
Great post and know whatever you post and whenevr you post I’ll be here reading cause I just love me some, S and now sweet Charlie!!!
Yes, yes, yes. We just gotta remember we’re all doing the best we can 😉
i need some of these leggings, i think they will make getting dressed in the morning much easier.
and i know what you mean about ho0w comparison is the thief of joy. it is so easy to fall into that trap and forget to take a step back.
and i think a lot of people will look up to you and your life 🙂
First of all, you look absolutely stunning in burgundy… it’s your color, girlfriend. It just is.
Second of all, I completely concur on the taking a step back thing. I’ve had to do that in recent months, myself. I no longer feel like my life revolves around wondering about the lives of other bloggers, feeling envious, etc, and instead it involves a lot more living my own life. In some ways I feel like this has affected my own blog in a negative way, though, because reading others’ blogs always give me so much inspiration and ideas of my own. But I think I’m slowly finding balance in it all. Glad to hear you are too.
BTW, I just downloaded Disqus comments night before last and I am LOVING it so far. It’s really nice to know my replies will be sent straight to people’s email every time… (you can set it to where guests can’t comment, i.e. you just have to make a quick disqus account to comment… seems like most of my readers already had one anyway, because comments haven’t really slowed down any, it seems!)
If I had your legs, I’d wear those faux leather leggings every damn day, just like Jim Morrison.