we need a dog. and yes, everyone, a baby too. dog first.
I am in the process of changing my last name to Graham.
Which is Stephen’s last name.
In case anyone was confused.
A lot of people asked about how I felt during the wedding planning process, and the idea of marriage in general, considering this was my second time around.
I always said that it felt completely normal; totally right.
I never had doubts about marrying Stephen, even when things outside of him and I got a little cray. (okay, a lot cray).
I never questioned or doubted our process, I never felt nervous or scared.
Even after the ending of my first marriage, I never once thought I would never get married again.
Marriage never scared me.
Marriage doesn’t break people.
People break people.
However, when it has come to changing my name, again,I have struggled.
Changing my name is something I didn’t expect to have any feelings about at all.
But it has been harder than I had expected.
Maybe it’s because I am just lazy and the process of doing it is sort of a pain.
I changed my name the first time, and it was a process to change it.
Then another process to change it back; a somewhat embarrassing and humbling process.
Now I am changing it again, after I just got my old name back a couple years ago.
It just feels weird?
I’m not quite sure I even understand why I am feeling strange about it. I mean, I remained in a foreign country for Stephen, so changing my name is a pretty minor thing in comparison.
I also really LOVE Stephen’s last name.
I like it a lot more than my maiden name.
I also love Stephen more than a silly last name,
so I am excited to take it because I know how much it means to him.
I don’t even plan on hyphenating, nor do I want to.
Could it be a fear of losing a part of myself again?
Maybe subconsciously I am scared to give it all away again?
Like this was the last piece, a piece I didn’t even know existed until now, that was making me feel safe?
We could psychoanalyze this all day.
Stephen and I spend a lot of time psychoanalyzing each other.
It is what happens when two psych grads marry each other. I’ll let you know how that works out for us. 😉
I know women who never even changed their names, and women who hyphenate, and women who put their maiden last name as their middle name, or women who drop their name all together and just take their husbands.
Which one are you?
And what made you go the route you did with the whole name change thing?